Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Ask Dr. Carlo – Ansinthe Induced Blindness

Dear Dr. C-Lo:
Will drinking homebrewed absinthe make me go blind?

Coach A. in Minneapolis

Dr. C-Lo:
It's methanol that can make you go blind. In the old days people used to cut their moonshine with methanol to be cheap but it would cause blindness. Basically, if you are going to homebrew absinthe then you have to make sure you get all of the methanol out.

I googled moonshine and blindness and the first site tells you how to do this. Actually the treatment for methanol poisoning is ethanol (the good alcohol) because the ethanol keeps the methanol from being metabolized into toxic substances. But you have to catch it early or the blindness will be irreversible.

So if you drink your homemade absinth and start to go blind then just start slamming vodka on the way to the ER and you should be able to save your eyes. Then when you show up in the ER with the bottle of vodka in your hand and tell them the story they will call you the smartest drunk guy ever.
Good times.

Dr. C-Lo

Dear Team:
Our game is at 9:00 PM this Thursday
vs. Beersticks.

Coach A. in Minneapolis

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Irish Nachos

I made up a recipe. It was inspired by a long night at McGuinness Pub located somewherre in sprawling suburban Washington DC.

Our game is at 6PM this week. I know it's early, but show up at least 10 minutes before the game so we don't forfeit.

1 pound shredded corned beef
1 can sauerkraut
4 cans of Guinness Irish Stout
6 ounces Jameson Irish Whiskey
1 can refried beans
1 large bag white corn tortilla chips
1 medium onion, chopped
1 cup shredded pepper jack
1 jalapeno, sliced crosswise, plus extra for garnish
1 cup shredded Cheddar
1 cup sour cream
1 cup green onion, chopped
1 tomato, diced

Open Guinness and pour in into imperial pint glass. Allow to settle. Take sip. Have all the prepped ingredients easily accessible to assemble nachos. Take a drink of Guinness.Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Finish pint of Guinness. Take shot of Jameson.

Pour additional glass of Guinness. Sip gently. Finish glass in 5-7 minutes. In a small saucepan over low heat, cook refried beans until they are loose enough to spoon onto nachos. On a large ovenproof platter, spread out a layer of tortilla chips and quickly put a teaspoon of hot refried beans on each chip. Take additional shot of Jameson. Working quickly, sprinkle with some onions, jack cheese, and jalapeno slices. Spoon on corned beef and sauerkraut and top that with Cheddar. Repeat this layering process until ingredients are used up. Pour additional glass of Guinness. Sip gently. Finish glass in 5-7 minutes. Save some of the jalapeno slices for garnish. Place platter in the oven and bake until cheese has melted, about 5 to 10 minutes. Take shot of Jameson while waiting. Remove from oven and place on a trivet or heatproof surface. Pour additional glass of Guinness. Sip gently. Finish glass in 5-7 minutes. Top nachos with sour cream, green onions, diced tomato and jalapeno slices and serve hot. Pour additional glass of Guinness. Sip gently. Take shot of Jameson. Take nap.

Monday, May 8, 2006

Your Coach Let You Down

I feel that I haven’t been a good role model. I’ve been asking my players to play their hearts out for me but I haven’t lived up to my end of the bargain as coach.

What kind of coach doesn’t have a mustache, sideburns, or use chewing tobacco? – A losing coach. I want to be a winner so I will try to incorporate at least one of these essential coaching elements in time for the next game this Thursday at 7 PM. Please bear with me because my mustache and sideburns growing skills are weak at this point. I also am not good at snussing/chawskis/chewless/dipping.

This gives me a fantastic idea. I am going to appoint guest editors for the Bulldog Blog to write about their areas of expertise. Someone will write about facial hair or sideburns cultivation. Someone else will instruct me to be a better chewer.

Box score
Bulldog x x x x x x x
Grumpies x x x x x x x

If you didn’t show up to the game, here’s what transpired:

We played on the wrong bench. 50% reduction in players. There was enough to field a team. The park bathrooms are now open but the lights weren’t on yet.

We were 10 run ruled in the 6th inning. That didn’t rule.

We had a rough time in the field. Letting balls get behind us in the outfield kills us. On the bright side, we hit some home runs. Our offense is definitely the best group of hitter we have ever through together.

Karl had a tought time on the mound. Coach struck out to leave a mess of runners stranded. Grumpy’s were some angry dudes mad at the ball. Tie doesn’t go to the female. Leah found that out. It snowed for 10 seconds.

Expect a lineup shakeup.

Tuesday, May 2, 2006

2006 Bulldog Schedule

Bryn Mawr Field #11
View map

April 27 - 8:00PM vs Momars
May 4 - 9:00PM vs Grumpy’s Shooters
May 11 - 7:00PM vs Long Shots
May 18 - 6:00PM vs Crappies
May 25 - 9:00PM vs Beersticks
June 1 - 8:15PM vs Alaskan Dragons
June 8 - 8:15PM vs Scared Hitless
June 15 - 9:15PM vs Momars
June 22 - 6:15PM vs Grumpy’s Shooters
June 29 - 7:15PM vs Long Shots
July 6 - NO GAME
July 13 - 7:15PM vs Crappies
July 20 - 6:15PM vs Scared Hitless

PLEASE try and show up at the field 30 minutes prior to game time!
Check for game cancellation/inclement weather

Monday, May 1, 2006

Game 1 Recap

Rowdy. Flash mob. Exhilarating. Loud. Disap-pointment.

These words describe our first game versus the hated MOMARS. You just have to dislike a ‘D’ League team that has shorts with their team logo.

Thanks to everyone for coming out. It was the biggest group that's ever turned out for any of our games. In the pasts we had always struggled with getting enough people out to field a legal (5 girls & 5 guys) team. I hope everyone will continue to show up as the season progresses. I tried putting our schedule on Google Calendar but I'm still figuring out how to use it. Anyways, we play at 9 PM this Thursday. If you can't make it, please contact me early in the week to get your absence excused. Please note that unexcused absences will pay a 1 beer fine (Kangaroo court, 2006).

The catcher on the opposing team told me, "It's like your team is having a party. Did you guys come on a bus together?" Then I said, "No, there's no bus. But we could use one if everyone keeps drinkin'."

We have a strong group of playas and will only get better as the weather warms up. There's only one problem. We don't have time to gradually get better. We have to win now. Karl made a bet that we'd have a .500 record this year.
Watch the Video: Karl Tough Talk

Below is our first ever box score (thanks to Ryan).

We struck out 8 times in the first game. Don’t do that. Hit the ball. Maybe the other team will make an error. Then you will be a hero. If we keep striking out at this pace the Kangaroo court will be forced to levy a fine.

Game 1



























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