Say Goodbye to Smut & Eggs

Another piece of my youth is gone. Where am I going to go now when I need to watch hardcore porn when nursing a hangover with screwdrivers and sunny side up eggs? - Coach


Bennett's RIP.
The Capital Times

By Doug Moe

LAST WEEK on the Badger Nation fan Web site, a forum topic that veered away from UW athletics brought a spirited exchange.

Somebody posed the question: Which lost Madison bar do you miss the most?

There were dozens of responses, and reading them was like taking an 80-proof stroll down memory lane. Among the mourned establishments: the 602 Club; Bob and Gene's; the Pinckney Street Hide-Away; the Flamingo Bar in the Grotto on State Street; the Fess; Pino's at Regent and Park (a personal favorite, as it was where I had my first underage beer); the Barber's Closet; and many, many more. It was 16 pages when I printed it out.

If the forum had been next month instead of last week, a place sure to garner more than a few sentimental votes would be Bennett's on the Park, which will have its last day of operation Feb. 24.

Rich Bennett

That's right - or wrong, depending on your point of view. Proprietor Rich Bennett is pulling the plug on the legendary Park Street home of "Smut & Eggs," where on weekend mornings since 1990 you could get your eggs over easy and your porn overtly hard.

National magazines wrote about the unusual breakfast fare, which was initiated by Bennett's older brother, Gene Bennett, at his bar near Verona and Raymond roads. The brothers both have adult entertainment licenses, but perhaps because Rich's place was close to campus (and you know how young people like to gossip), the Park Street locale became more associated with "Smut & Eggs."

On Tuesday morning, a sign behind the bar in Bennett's on the Park advertised X-rated movies for sale, DVD or VHS.

"Got to make it any way I can," Rich Bennett was saying. He was not completely successful in keeping the bitterness out of his voice.

According to Bennett, the cause of his bar's demise is simple: The smoking ban in taverns did him in.

"I was doing fine," Bennett said. "It just killed me."

The decline started slowly, Bennett said, because the ban was enacted in the summer of 2005. His smoking customers had no problem ducking outside in July to grab a smoke. By December, they were less enthusiastic. Today, 19 months into the ban, his business is just about gone.

"There are nights when I will have one customer," Bennett said. "Those same nights, in the past, I needed two bartenders."

Bennett doesn't own the building at 416 S. Park, and his current lease is up this month. When the landlord announced a rent increase, Bennett knew he was done. "I can't pay the rent as it is," he said.

There are people in Madison who will not be sorry to see a working-class tavern with unusual weekend television offerings go away. Bennett thinks it's symptomatic of a kind of elitism in the city. It can be hard to be a shot and a beer guy in a wine and cheese town. But when the former are gone, Bennett said, they'll leave a hole.

"You're losing the guys with personality and humor," Bennett said. "You go downtown to those fern bars and the bartenders charge you $5 for a drink and walk away."

Bennett, 59, is a Madison native, and a 1966 Madison Central High School graduate. For the past several years he has sponsored all-class reunions for Central at the VFW Club on Lakeside. (He has another, this Sunday, from noon-6.) He enjoys the reunions but is enough of a contrarian to insist that all attendees have been Central students - in other words, no spouses. It hasn't hurt attendance. "Seven hundred at the last one," Bennett said.

Bennett boxed Golden Gloves as a kid, and later in the Navy. He has a photo of himself at Guantanamo Bay in 1968, standing with several other winners of a service boxing tournament. He played semi-pro football with the Madison Mustangs. (It was "semi," all right. Bennett was paid $18 for home games and $20 for road games.) He spent nine years all told in the armed service of his country, a fact that crossed his mind as he waited all night and was given four minutes to speak at the City Council meeting that effectively destroyed his business.

Bennett opened his bar in 1990, buying what was previously Frankie's. Bennett added food, and over the years it scored some fine reviews. "The Sloppy Joe," a State Journal reviewer noted, "tasted like the best Mom ever made. ...We were also bowled over by the deluxe burger: a half-pounder topped with two slices of bacon and served with pickles and chips."

Rich Bennett ran a good business. He paid his taxes. In over a decade and a half he didn't have a dozen police calls to his bar. Now it is all gone and you will forgive him if he's bitter - and leaving town.

"I can't wait to get out," he said Tuesday.

"Where are you going?" he was asked.

"Portage, probably. Anywhere. But February 25th is my last day in Madison."

"You're sure?"

"I'm positive."

Heard something Moe should know? Call 252-6446, write PO Box 8060, Madison, WI 53708, or e-mail dmoe@madison.com.
Published: February 7, 2007