Ask Dr. Carlo – Ansinthe Induced Blindness

Dear Dr. C-Lo:
Will drinking homebrewed absinthe make me go blind?

Coach A. in Minneapolis

Dr. C-Lo:
It's methanol that can make you go blind. In the old days people used to cut their moonshine with methanol to be cheap but it would cause blindness. Basically, if you are going to homebrew absinthe then you have to make sure you get all of the methanol out.

I googled moonshine and blindness and the first site tells you how to do this. Actually the treatment for methanol poisoning is ethanol (the good alcohol) because the ethanol keeps the methanol from being metabolized into toxic substances. But you have to catch it early or the blindness will be irreversible.

So if you drink your homemade absinth and start to go blind then just start slamming vodka on the way to the ER and you should be able to save your eyes. Then when you show up in the ER with the bottle of vodka in your hand and tell them the story they will call you the smartest drunk guy ever.
Good times.

Dr. C-Lo

Dear Team:
Our game is at 9:00 PM this Thursday vs. Beersticks.

Coach A. in Minneapolis